Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Two more reasons to always read King Kaufman

1) Because he watches dreck like the Home Run Derby so you don't have to.

2) Because if you don't read him--or watch dreck like the Home Run Derby--you miss things like this: "'There's nothing better than a home run contest,' Joe Morgan told Berman, indicating that Morgan needs to get out more."

If I started right this second naming things that are better than a home run contest, at the rate of, say, one per second, I would still be naming things when the sun burns out or global warming sets my hair on fire or the Left Behind novels are proven spectacularly wrong. And that's all before I even start thinking about Karl Rove going to jail, and how much better every second of his sentence would be than a home run contest.

A far better question for our legions of fans: what isn't better than a home run contest?

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Having to look at a large image of Tucker Carlson's smarmy bowtie-wearing self in order to get a Salon.com day pass in order to read King Kaufman's column -- surprisingly, still slightly better than a home run contest.
I agree with the above but would add that I would rather watch a home run contest than be feltched.
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